I don't want to be a 'have mercy' servant.

I just want to get to that place where I love God and follow God and worship God BECAUSE I'm in love with Him.  I want to be able to truly believe that I would WANT to be God's servant even if this entire world was doomed for destruction with the believers included in that destruction.  Would I serve Him if there was nothing in it for me?  God asked me this today.  And it broke me when I had to answer.  Completely broke my heart.  I hate myself for that.  But I don't know how to think differently.  God is the only one who can change my heart.  And I pray He does. I don't want to be a 'have mercy' servant.  I want to be a 'send me to Hell if it brings you glory' servant.  I want to love God like He loves me.  But I know I can't.  God is everything good inside of me.  I pray He helps me love Him better. And more. And stronger.